Okay, so I said I work in this drive-thru, Warren's Hot Dogs. It's not a restaurant because there's nowhere inside to sit down. There's a walk-in lobby, the drive-thru window, and the kitchen. We sell hot dogs, subs, pizzas, apple turnovers, cheesesticks, chips and sodas. Our hot dogs are the primary money-maker. If you've been in eastern NC, you've probably paid us a visit. The work itself isn't especially hard, but it can get very busy. Unfortunately, some of our customers make the job harder than it needs to be.
Case in point: how to order our hot dogs. Our toppings include mustard, onions, a hot chili, and a mild chili. Nothing else. NOTHING else. And yet I'll often have this exchange:
Customer: Uh, yeah, I haven't been here before. What comes on your hot dogs?
Me: We have mustard, onions, a hot chili and a mild chili. Your combination.
Cust.: Do you have mayonnaise/cheese/slaw/sauerkraut?
What I want to say is, "Did I SAY we had mayonnaise/cheese/slaw/sauerkraut?" But I don't. I just shake my head and give a slight apologetic smile as if to say, "I'm sorry sir, I wish I could help you, it's the management, you know...doesn't want to expand the options." Not that I want the options expanded, that would lead to more chaos. Believe it or not, I've had customers get visibly upset when they learn they can't completely have it their way. To see and hear them, you'd think I was doing it to them personally out of spite.
Another thing is that some of our customers don't know the meaning of the word "plain." Now, I know and my co-workers know and you know that "plain" means "nothing on it." Just the bun and dog. But I'm guaranteed at least once a day to get "Yeah, I'll take one hot dog plain. Mustard and ketchup." Well now, that's not PLAIN, is it?
A lot of our clientele likes to use the word "regular." As in, "I'll take two regular hot dogs." And that's it. Then I get the pleasure of playing 20 Questions to find out what this person thinks "regular" is.
When I first started working there, I got to hear "I'll take two without." Which, of course, begged the question, "Without what?" Then I learned "without onions." Forgive me, sir, my mind-reading abilities aren't working today.
Sometimes the order will be for "the two hot dog special." Normally this isn't a problem to understand. But sometimes it turns into a guessing game: the two dog special or two specials? It could be one or the other and whichever one I think it is is the wrong one.
Most of our customers are alright. Some are difficult. Some are just flat-out dumb. Forget throwing a wrench into the works, they dump the whole toolbox in there. So please, if you swing by our establishment for a few chili dogs, keep in mind mustard, chili, and onions. Make it your mantra. We'll thank you for it and won't make fun of you.
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